Tweedle Beetle Tri-Atheletle

A few things to note here...

1. I have only been dealing with this neck thing now for 2 weeks and I am already sick of doctors.  
2. I have learned when they don't know whats wrong, they prescribe drugs.
3. I am sick of feeling doped up from the muscle relaxers.
4. I am sick of feeling buzzed from the steroids.
5. I am sick of worrying about my kidneys from the ibuprofen. 
6. I am sick of not sleeping.
   
7. I am tired of booking appointments with specialists 2 weeks out, when I am in pain now.
   

I am taking on a new intention.  While I am not a doctor and I am not licensed to heal others, I truely believe that I have every right and every ability to heal myself.  I believe that a true intention has power and if someone has the intention to heal themselves, they can.

Tonight I took action and turned away from work, the kids, TV and other distractions and sat quietly and meditated.  I envisioned my body being filled with a toxic slag.  Something looking similar to coal sludge - a dark, toxic black crud which is eating away at my body, literally stinking inside.  This muck is synonymous with all of the negative thoughts, feelings and emotions I feel throughout the day.  The anxieties over money, the impatience with the kids, the fear over my back and neck, the pain I feel, the lack of sleep.


 While deep breathing, I imagined that my toes and fingertips were like screw on caps - unscrewed, this black sludge would flow out of me, slowly but steadily.  While much of my inner self is left a healthy, life sustaining pink - there are other areas which have retained some of the sludge - dried up and caked on.  These areas, corresponding with my most intense pain need be be scrubbed - even power washed of this toxic slime.  Once every area is clean and the walls of my body look like that perfectly healthy pink of a babies lips - I fill myself back up.

The refill is done in the reverse, starting at my toes, creeping past my knees, my hips, my shoulders and eventually my cranium.  The fluid is holy water, blessed by God for health and heeling - a pure fluid connection to my inner being, my soul.

This fluid represents health, peace and serenity.  This fluid is ultimately conductive - allowing for the energy of my physical body to flow, unrestricted from my core to my limbs and back again.

I then visualize my energy flowing - a white electric light flowing through my conductive paths within this fluid medium.  I visualize my body as the energy that it is and that the energy is moving without obstructions - especially in those places where I hurt, I am tight.  This is especially easy now as the pain radiates down my nerve - the main pathway for electrical energy to travel throughout our bodies.

The end result - after the 45 min mediation, my pain had gone.  The fire down the back of my arm had cooled.  The numbness in my fingertips was still there but it was able to be embraced.  I sat still for a few moments, relishing in the lightness that I felt.

Then, I moved - well the world is not perfect - and the pain flooded back in, but my mind was left in a better, more present place to deal with the pain.  I was better able to be kind to my wife and had lost the low grade anxiety that lives within me. 

Overall - a brilliant success, something I will continue to investigate and practice.  By the way, I am still going to the neurologist on Monday but until then - maybe I can take some of this into my own hands instead of depending on a doctor who really doesn't care about me...

That's it for now...  Happy New Years Eve!